A week has passed since I last wrote about Dragon Ball, and I find myself five episodes deeper in this lengthy and cringe-inducing saga. Last week we left off with a couple questions.
Since Last Week
Bloomers
Bloomers consistently trades in her own sex appeal, which is an interesting choice for someone who seems to hate being enjoyed sexually. One minute she's paying for someone's services with her panties—not only of her own volition, but this is something she comes up with!—the next minute she's calling everyone perverts and acting like her purity has been compromised. This would be the compelling tale of a reluctant sex worker if not for the fact that she proposes these exchanges under no duress and with plenty of easier alternatives. The inconsistency has me pretty sure that there is no deeper character beneath the barrage of innocent slut moe. That said, maybe she'll surprise us down the line. "I'm just drawn this way," perhaps.
To answer last week's question ("How will Bloomers' objectification deepen next week?") ... Drastically. There's a whole episode about Oolong roofying her. What? Is that objectionable? Pfft, it's harmless children's comedy! Consequences? I'm crying.
Luckily for Bloomers, she's pretty savvy when the writers allow her to interact with the plot. Baffled by most of the cast's idiocy, the audience will find itself asking "why don't they just do X" in a given situation... and Bloomers usually is the one who does. Common sense approaches to problems at hand are her forte and she moves the plot along at a good clip. Can't find a buried Dragon Ball? She uses her radar. Out of gas? She stops at a gas station. She is indeed surrounded by perverts and morons (except Goku, who's just a moron who happens to have no boundaries), and she shines as the anti-hero1 protagonist of the series.
Goku
Goku shrank on me this week.2 While initially he was the Pikachu to Dragon Ball's Pokemon, the cute and silly mascot, his good moments have all but vanished beneath the weight of the rapidly expanding cast. The scenes left to him usually center around him being lazy or violent. His low point this week was probably when he pimped Bloomers in exchange for a bit of overenthusiastic firefighting from the Turtle Hermit. (Thankfully, Bloomers forced Diarrhea Slave Oolong to service the hermit in her stead. Uh, yikes.)
He's also got a fiancee now. Her name is Titties and she looks like a Megaman reject.
To answer last week's question ("How many women will Goku violently molest?") ... Only one! (His bride-to-be.) Once in five episodes is a lot better than thrice in four (more than thrice in four if we count repeat assaults on Bloomers), so I'm going with cautious optimism that Goku will improve and someday renounce cunt-punting. That said, I am not holding my breath for him to magically metamorphose into a feminist. Until he learns basic lessons like, "don't sell your friend's breasts to dirty old men without her consent," he's going to remain a danger.
This week saw the induction of a bunch of characters into the main cast. Let's review!
Our Buddies
Bloomers - Spunky scientific girl. Says "romantic ageru" but will poison you if you don't let her sleep in. Wants a boyfriend, but none of the stupid pervy losers around her qualify.
Son Goku - Unbelievably ignorant monkey boy. Will fight you and eat you. It turns out his Dragon Ball is his adoptive grandfather, not his biological parent's biological father, which explains a lot.
Oolong - Angsty homophobic shapeshifter pig. Literally disgusted by any contact with men. Probably closeted. Currently a slave to Bloomers, who can give him the runs with a command word if he disobeys her.
Pu-erh - Former classmate to Oolong, a much more palatable shapeshifter. Unfortunately serves Macho Robot Brunch.
Brunch - Some kind of robot that overheats and risks meltdown upon contact with the opposite sex. Good-looking according to Bloomers, whose very presence shuts him down.
Titties - Daughter of the Beef Lord, her helmet is a boomerang that canonically can not be dodged, arguably making her the most formidable of the characters we've seen thus far.
Turtle Hermit - Super buff old man currently recovering from Titties's helmarang. Can level mountains with his spirit energy. Loves motorboating.
This all-star cast will continue their hijinks into next week, following an incredibly silly episode in which Goku goes to space for the first time by riding his "extending staff" to the moon. Bloomers and Goku have six of the seven Dragon Balls now and my two main questions moving forward are:
• Will they find the last Dragon Ball next week?
• How long will Bloomers keep Oolong as a slave?
This show is a trainwreck but at this point I'm basically all in. Unless it gets really boring I will continue documenting its worst moments. Every episode has new lowlights and there's almost no repetition. My understanding is that Dragon Ball Z eventually becomes very monotonous, with multi-episode fights. Right now there's none of that. Just action, fanservice, and potty humor, delivered in rapid succession with no downtime.
I...
I might actually be starting to enjoy it. Help me :<